


The Fanfiction in Which Dualscar Berates His Tool of a Pre-Scratch Iteration and Cronus is Left Speechless

by Bettername



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-28
Updated: 2012-09-28
Packaged: 2017-11-15 04:59:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/523402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bettername/pseuds/Bettername
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dualscar finds out that his pre-scratch self does not live up to his high exacting standards and proceeds to rip him a new nook in the most eloquent way possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fanfiction in Which Dualscar Berates His Tool of a Pre-Scratch Iteration and Cronus is Left Speechless

The lit cigarette hit the ground, snuffed out with a faint sizzle. For once in his seemingly infinite existence Cronus was speechless. The figure before him loomed. The troll’s presence commanded attention. He had an air of nobility, one who had the utmost confidence in his abilities, and one who did not demand the respect of the others around him because he knew that he already had it. His grey skin was flawless save for two scars that carved trenches diagonally from his hairline, across his aquiline nose, and down to his solid square jaw. His hair was coiffed to perfection, his horns jutted out of the follicular masterpiece like two well honed lightning bolts, his eyebrows were well manicured, and his thin lips were set in a sneering grimace that exposed several gleaming white fangs. The troll standing before him was the infamous Orphaner Dualscar. One of the most feared and respected trolls in all of Alternia, and coincidentally Cronus’ post – scratch iteration. Cronus hastily closed his mouth when he realized that his jaw had been hanging open. He eventually worked up the gumption to speak but was silenced when the opposing troll tilted his head ever so slightly upwards and narrowed his blank eyes into slits. Once the adult troll was satisfied that his predecessor would remain silent he began to speak. 

“The Alternian language does not contain the wverbiage necessary for me to adequately describe the sheer amount of contempt that I have tovwards you pre-molt bilious sac of vwasted resources so the follovwing diatribe vwill have to suffice. I had great expectations for you from the moment I learned of your existence. The others informed me of their opinion that it vwas not vwise to hold you to such a demanding standard, but I beliewved that you vwould more than rise to the occasion giwven your pedigree. You are an Aquarius, a wviolet blood, royalty, and thus operate on a different lewvel that the land dvwelling peasants are unable to understand. As a fellovw sea dvweller I beliewved that you vwould act vwith the dignity and poise expected of your status. Hovwever, I am chagrined to learn that I vwas grawvely mistaken. You are a disgrace to your caste.”

“My initial disapprowval stemmed from your frequent interactions vwith the yellovw blood. I had no idea vwhy you vwould deign to vwaste your time on a land dvweller, let alone a mutant yellovw blood of questionable intelligence. Vwhat further wvexed me was your constant solicitations of a concupiscent nature vwith such a troll. Unfortunately, I hawve learned of a fact that makes your behawvior tovwards the troll in question much more disturbing than I could prewviously surmised. There are rare occasions vwhen a troll can raise their status through wvaliant and notevworthy actions. The yellovw blood performed such a heroic task to garner both your praise and respect. Captor sacrificed his vwellbeing to sawve not only his fellovw comrades, but also your pathetic existence from certain annihilation. During that noble endeawvor he owver exerted his psionics vwhich reduced him to his current state.”

“Cronus, you ovwe Mituna Captor a life debt. You ovwe him a debt of gratitude that you could newver begin to repay, and yet you treat him with such disrespect I cannot describe as anything besides loathsome. As a member of nobility you are expected to follow a code of conduct, to uphold a lewvel of ciwvility and refinement that separates us from not only the other castes, but the countless sawvage cultures that span the galaxies. You do not subject the indiwvidual responsible for sawving your vwretched existence with such reprehensible actions. Do not fucking do it again. If I learn of you engaging in such behawviors again I vwill execute you vwith the magnificent vweaponry that you hawve not earned the right to inhabit the same region of space let alone vwield until my vwrath has been sufficiently appeased by the spilling of your wvile tainted blood. Do you comprehend vwhat I have stated?” Cronus nodded dumbstruck. “Remowve yourself from my presence at once.” The troll skittered off. Dualscar turned his attention over to the two yellow bloods. The taller of the pair had an arm wrapped protectively around the smaller troll huddled up against him. Dualscar gave the troll a slight nod.

“Helmsman.”

The Psiionic returned the nod. “Orphaner.”

And with the swish of his cape the violet blood left. 

“I juth might have to adjutht my opinion of him.” The taller troll smirked as he glanced down at Mituna. “Maybe.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know that I kill off Dualscar quite often for my own amusement, so I thought that I should show the sea dweller a little bit of respect for once in my writing career. It did work for awhile until I added in his accent. Go ahead, read it aloud and try not to giggle. Poor poor Amporas just can't get any respect.


End file.
